Everyone knows that a sudden traumatic event in your life will lead to stress. Whether it is the death of a loved one, a serious illness or the ending of a relationship, people will often seek professional help.
Most people understand that it takes the right kind of therapy or counselling to help them to move beyond the overwhelming loss, the sadness, the fear, the anger and a myriad other negative feeling that can be very debilitating.
Getting professional help shows us how to move forward. It helps us to begin to see a future that is a little brighter than we could ever have thought possible when the traumatic event happened.
But what about the everyday stress that creeps up on you?
Poor quality sleep for one or two nights will leave you feeling tired and maybe a bit irritable. Regular day to day stuff takes a bit more effort. But once you get a good night’s sleep you’re back to normal and everything is fine again.
But what happens when you’re so stressed you can’t sleep? Or you can’t sleep because you’re stressed or in pain?
Poor quality sleep on a regular basis will leave your body feeling stressed. Simple everyday problems seem impossible to tackle.
You feel stuck. Sometimes you know what you SHOULD do but you feel unable to motivate yourself to follow through and just do it. Then you berate yourself, making yourself feel even worse.
Most people underestimate the destructive power of negative self-talk.
The subconscious mind will believe anything you tell it, particularly when you are in a state of high emotion. And that happens whether it’s a good or bad emotion.
Not only can negative self-talk become embedded in your subconscious mind. Sounds and smells can also become embedded in your subconscious.
I remember playing on my Granny’s farm as a child. We lived one hundred miles away and visited for a week every summer. My mother was in holiday mode, delighted to have escaped the city to visit her parents and extended family. It was a very happy time.
The smell of cow dung hung in the air on those hot sunny days. To this day, however horrible you think it smells, the smell of cow dung always gives me happy feelings.
My subconscious mind associates it with those happy times. When I smell it now, I am immediately transported back to those carefree childhood days.
Have you ever experienced a sudden, strong feeling, either negative or positive, and had no idea what triggered it?
The happy feeling could have been triggered by someone nearby wearing the same perfume your favourite aunt used to wear. You feel a wave of happiness and nostalgia and you smile when you realise what’s happened.
The same thing can happen with negative feelings. Maybe you suddenly feel afraid. Someone near you is wearing the same perfume that your most hated teacher wore. The smell brings back those terrible feelings of fear and dread that you felt every day as you sat in her class.
And all this happens at a subconscious level before you even know what’s happening.
If you find yourself saying nasty things to yourself that you wouldn’t dare say to your best friend, isn’t time for a bit of self-care?
Self-care is not selfish. Its vital for good mental health and well-being.
What if you told a child (or anyone else) over and over that they were no good, a failure, would never accomplish anything, didn’t deserve to be happy?
What effect do you think it would have on their self-esteem, on their confidence?
Do you think it would cause them stress?
There’s absolutely no doubt about it. Its so obvious when you’re talking about someone else.
But your subconscious mind takes on board everything you tell yourself.
If it’s negative it will believe it. Not only that, but it will show you even more “proof” that it’s true.
What if you could reprogramme your subconscious mind by saying positive supportive things instead?
Your subconscious mind might be a little wary at first. It’s completely out of character. Its not used to hearing positive suggestions and affirmations.
But continue on a regular basis and it will begin to look for evidence that what you say is true.
Reprogramming your subconscious mind is simple. Unfortunately, it is not always easy.
If you’ve spent a lifetime telling yourself how awful you are, it will take a bit of time and effort to replace the negative suggestions with what you want.
But just for a moment, can you imagine the amazing outcome?
Imagine finally believing deeply that you’re a good person who deserves to be loved, to live a happy and a fulfilled life!
Before I mention an easy first step to reprogramme your subconscious mind, it’s important to remember this. You cannot eliminate all stress from your life. Some stress is positive.
However you can massively reduce those negative thoughts, feelings and actions by learning to manage stress.
Positive self-talk is a good place to start.
You could use some of the following:
- I deserve to be happy
- I am enough
- I deserve to be loved
- I am loved
Or come up with whatever resonates with you.
If your chosen suggestions don’t feel right, choose something else. Find at least one that works for YOU. And use it as often as you can.
Look in the mirror and say it. It might feel awkward at first but in time it will have a powerfully positive effect.
You can also put reminders on your phone to remind you throughout the day of your chosen suggestions.
If you’re not sleeping well, a good night’s sleep is a very important next step. You can begin by listening every night to a recording of Progressive Relaxation for a Deep Relaxing Sleep
This recording is filled with positive suggestions for a good night’s sleep and for deep relaxation. Listening regularly will allow you to reprogramme your subconscious mind with positive suggestions.
This in turn will help you to get a deeply relaxing and refreshing sleep night after night.
Better sleep while reprogramming your subconscious mind will help you to be more positive from the first moment you step out of bed each morning.
Check out my recent blog post 5 Top Tips to Reduce Stress and Increase Confidence
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